This post is XKCD's fault

I want to date a Linux developer*

My credentials:
9) I know how to code basic HTML.
8) I know what a GOTO is even if I don't know programming language. Nevermind if it's outmoded.
7) I read XKCD.
6) I always google before asking "what is this?", thus reducing the headdesk to stupid questions ratio .
5) I know what rule 34 is, and will gladly rape your childhood with it.
4) I will replace lovers' quarrels by flooding your chatbox with memes.
3) Real sex will be replaced by cybersex and crappy pr0n descriptions.
2) I will romance you with CAT MACROS/LOLCATS.
1) ????
0) PROFIT!!

*Actually, no, not really.



To Anonymous (Yay! Someone actually reads this? Oh joy!):
I'm born on the same day as Willy Sagnol (different year).

It's actually quite Brechtian how I haven't found anybody IRL who likes football but isn't a tool.